Master or Slave?

The Accidental Fundamentalist stumbles into Islamophobia

2010-12-09T15:14:00.000-08:00

I'm an interesting type of Muslim. The kind you couldn’t pick out on the street. There are no obvious outward signs of my faith and my ethnicity isn't clear. You can barely tell I’m an Indian – or of Indian origin – because I’d pass for Greek, Italian, Spanish, even southern French.

The Islam I practice is Sufism – and, in my case, most of my practice is internal. I now call myself a Muslim Fundamentalist because I follow what I believe are the “fundaments” of Islam – which are generosity, compassion, kindness, loyalty and honesty. I'm always fuming at the tv when they call someone blowing up a bus a "fundamentalist Muslim." And, as someone who lives in downtown Manhattan (and has lived and worked here for 20 years), I hear it a lot. I would call them "nut cases," "cultural reactionaries"... but they would never represent the fundamental essence of Islam.

Not to say that I don’t love ritual, culture and the joy and magic of tradition, but I believe you have to come to the Divine on your own – and on your own path. And, as the often-quoted hadith (saying) of the Muslim prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him) says, "There are as many paths to the Divine as there are souls."

Sufism is strangely, one of the best known, unknown parts of Islam. Most people know the writings or teachings of Mawlana Jallaluddin Rumi and Shams-ud-din Muhammad Hafiz, their quotes are now on magnets and calendars. I even saw a boho outfit described by a blogger called Rumi in the window of Forever21 on 34th st.

"I Have Learned
So much from God
That I can no longer
Call Myself
A Christian, a Hindu, a Muslim,
A Buddhist, a Jew."

-Shams-ud-din Muhammad Hafiz

The idea is that the fundaments of Islam are almost too great and too universal to be contained in any one religion. Sufism, like Kabaalah, deals with the essence of Islam, the idea that the Divine is everywhere, in everything - like the Sanskirt word, Om - the all-encompassing.

Sadly, most people don't realize that Sufi ideas are based on an Islamic viewpoint.
Like Buddhism, Sufism is about giving up the ego, the desire for power, the wish to be right, the craving for material satisfaction. Again, these are fundaments of Islam.

For me, this quote describes the practice of Sufism on a personal level.

"Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment
Knock, And He'll open the door
Vanish, And He'll make you shine like the sun
Fall, And He'll raise you to the heavens
Become nothing, And He'll turn you into everything.”

-Mawlana Jallaluddin Rumi

In my understanding of Islamic fundamentalism, the truest practice of faith is demonstrated by your actions on the planet, towards all other life. A brilliant modern thinker in that vein is Ibrahim Abdul-Matin, who wrote “Green Deen,” a powerful Islamic argument, based on Quranic quotations, for the necessity of being environmentally and socially-responsible.

Since I'm your everyday single Muslim mother, I go to school for Muslim holidays with my three daughters to talk to their classes. One morning on our way to the Ramadan presentation, when my middle daughter was about 9, she said, “So when do we find out that we’re right?”

I said, “What do you mean?”

She said, “You know, that Muslims are right and everyone else is wrong. Do we find out when we die?”

And I said, “We’re ALL right. The goal is to be kind to each other and help each other and find some peace in ourselves. Different religions are just like a different languages. It’s like calling a chair, 'une chaise' in French. It’s the same thing. So in Arabic, we use the word, Allah for God. In French, you say, Dieu. In Spanish, Dios. It doesn’t matter what religion you are, you can call God, Allah, Jesus, Buddha, Shiva – you can follow your culture – and if you follow something with your heart, you will get to the same place.”

So people often ask me, how do I call myself a Muslim if I don’t veil – or wear hijab. And I say, in Islam, being a Muslim requires one simple phrase, “La illaha ill lallah, Muhammad el-rasulallah.” Which means I believe in God and Muhammad is the seal (or the last Prophet). It implies that you also believe in the Torah and the New Testament. Everything else is between you and God. I have no place judging your choices or what calls you.

What I’ve told my kids is that what you call yourself – Muslim, Christian, Hindu, Jew, Buddhist, Bahai – is less important than what you do with it. The imperatives in Islam are called the five pillars – faith, prayer, fasting, charity, pilgrimage.

But I have plenty of friends who are culturally Muslim but in practice agnostic, never fast or even consider going to Mecca. They drink alcohol, eat pork and have spent their lives working with underpriviledged children in the Delhi slums, or helping families in New York City who have been torn apart by the immigration laws. Or improving the lives of homeless people. And, from what I understand of faith, THOSE are the people who are going straight to heaven (without passing purgatory). Not the ones who just touch their foreheads to the floor five times a day or starve themselves on ramadan while making their families and friends miserable. (Not that one shouldn't pray or fast, but if you don't do it correctly, it's not worth it.)

Again, I tell my daughters that fasting on ramadan - not eating or drinking - is the easy part. The hard part is fasting from anger, from impatience and frustration. I tell them that for 30 days, they shouldn't raises their voices, they shouldn't be unkind or hurtful, they should be even more careful not to be untruthful or disloyal or mean. Trying to do that when you've had nothing to eat and been up since the crack of dawn is really, really hard. Many people say that if you get angry when you're fasting, your fast is broken. You might as well eat at that point and start apologizing. Because the fundamental goal of fasting is to get closer to the Divine - and how close are you when the small irritations of the material world bring you right back down to the ground?

So as an Islamic fundamentalist, here’s how I deal with “Islamophobia” or the current anger towards Muslims. I act like it doesn’t exist. The Muslim Bar Association is using the civil rights precedents set by the LBGT community – and I use the behavior of my gay friends as an example. I go into every situation assuming that people who don’t like me just don’t know me yet. I see it as an opportunity for dialogue and a chance to prove religious profiling wrong.

Talking about Islamophobia reminds me of going to a party once and meeting another Indian single mother like myself. She murmured to me, “Don’t you hate the way they look at us? The way they are all whispering about us behind our backs?”

I said, "Really? They are?" I'd never thought of that.

Suddenly, the room changed for me. Maybe they WERE all whispering behind my back. Until that moment, I’d always assumed everyone liked me until my actions gave them a reason not to. I’d always thought that my difference was an opportunity to show people that things are never as simple as you expect.

I remember when I first moved to Washington, DC, just on the edge of my teens. A girl asked me, "Do you like Black people?"

I must sound absurdly pollyanna, but I was baffled by the question. No one had ever asked me if I liked or disliked an entire race of people. And of course, since I was a new kid - brown and Muslim when almost everyone else was Jewish and European - I was keenly aware of getting the answer wrong. But I had no idea of what to say.

My mumbled answer was, "I guess there are some I like and some I don't."

Not to say that prejudice doesn’t exist but, as a fundamentalist, it is not to your benefit to internalize it. If I assume that everyone I meet is hostile towards me, then I miss the chance to connect with people who are not. And I miss the chance to change people’s perceptions. I judge someone's intentions before I experience them.

Someone who dismisses me without meeting me, misses the chance to find out that a Muslim mother with teenaged daughters is probably spending more time thinking about how to get her teenaged daughters to go to Friday prayers instead of watching Gossip Girl. Or how to get them to think more about their schoolwork and spirits and less about their looks.

Not to be Panglossian (for you Candide fans), but for me, the current public conversation against Islam and American Muslims is a good thing. This spring, when I started reading and watching the press about Park51, I said to non-Muslim friend, “Oh my gosh, they all HATE us. Did I just never notice or is this all new? When did the American public start mistrusting Muslims?”

He said, “No, it was there all along. It’s that no one said it in public.”

What’s happened is that because it's now socially acceptable to vilify 1.3 billion people (and a faith that has its roots in Christianity and Judiasm) in a public forum - even as an election platform, we can start addressing the fears and the lack of understanding in a public forum. If 60% of Americans say they've never met a Muslim, it's time for us to start shaking hands. We should be standing on street corners with "Ask me, I'm Muslim" badges on.

The scary part is that part of the reason for all this fear and anger is the Islamophobia Industry. As an investigative article in "The Tennessean" points out, keeping the American public angry and on edge generates millions of dollars. Steve Emerson alone makes $3,339,000 a year with his site.

Admittedly, the world economy, global warming and environmental concerns - not to mention, in my case, a mortgage and three girls about to go to college - are scaring everyone. Fear makes you do strange things. Which is what I feel is happening in the world today. Whether they are Quran burners or soldiers or terrorists, it’s based on a fear of losing control of life. Of trying to hold on to something that you know is familiar.

Working on the Park51 project – which I have since the inception – has been an incredible journey into facing and understanding fear, especially of the unknown.

Obviously, there is so much fear expressed against the project and against Muslims. But what I think outsiders don’t realize is that there is equally so much fear within the Muslim community. There are Muslims who say they don’t want to go to Park51 because they are worried about men and women praying together, because Shias, Sunnis and Sufis pray together, because there are gay and lesbian Muslims who pray there.

People, Muslim or not, are scared of the government, they’re scared of their neighbors, they’re scared of change and the future and how it might take away everything that’s familiar and move them out of their comfort zones. If you're an immigrant or a minority, you're scared that the majority will seduce and steal your children - as we saw even in "Westside Story" or "My Big Fat Greek Wedding."

Even if the future is better – it’s not what we know, it’s not what makes us feel safe – so we don’t like it.

That said, this Muslim Fundamentalist has been blown away by is the level of support we’ve received. It’s almost like – for lots of people – the controversy really made them come alive. It’s made them question their prejudices and their beliefs as a Americans. It's made them remember their experiences as new immigrants. In so many ways, the controversy over Park51 has been a groundbreaking moment – because it’s brought the dialogue into the open.

As a Muslim mother, I started an organization called Muslims for Peace. The idea was to create a unified Muslim voice for Peace – no political agenda – just a Million Muslims standing up for peace and compassion across the different kinds of practice.

I have friends who wear niqaab or beards and I have friends who are gay and lesbian Muslim activists – I even have a friend who’s been going on tv and saying she agrees with religious profiling - but speaking out for peace is something that we could all agree on and come together on. Muslims for Peace started out with a project I launched in November 2001 - after living through September 11 as a Muslim in lower Manhattan - 100% Human (click on stories and pictures to get the whole idea).

(Then, of course, I was a casualty of the economy myself. Since I work in advertising, the canary in the coal mine of the financial industry, I lost work, got cancer... and spent a lot of time not able to get much done. That said, I dealt with my cancer in the same way I deal with Islamophobia. I don't believe in it. So far, so good.)

Recently, I met a guy in a social setting who's a PR wiz. When I told him I was involved with Park51, he sent me a video of a tv appearance in which he said the project would never happen. In later emails, he told me that public opinion is against us and growing more hostile every minute (though we might be saved if we hire him). The 9/11 families would never be behind us.

But on the ground, what I notice is, when I wear my ONE MORE MUSLIM FOR PEACE t-shirt on the street – and around the site of the world trade center, which is after all, my neighborhood, people smile at me. They honk out of cars, they ask where they can get one. My neighbors say, "Can I get a ONE MORE JEW FOR PEACE?" Or "ONE MORE FRIEND OF A MUSLIM FOR PEACE?" The greatest impact 9/11 had was felt in the surrounding streets and schools and parks and homes, and my neighbors - Muslim, Jewish, Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, Atheist - welcome us with open arms. Especially the swimming pool.

Since I becoming an accidental fundamentalist, I made ONE MORE PERSON FOR PEACE t-shirts and I am trying to figure out how to get cafepress to allow me to have ONE MORE JEW FOR PEACE, ONE MORE BUDDHIST FOR PEACE, ONE MORE CHRISTIAN, ATHEIST, etc without having to pay monthly fees to keep the designs up there. Because a fundamentalist knows that actually everyone wants peace, harmony and a safe place to live a healthy life.

That the fundaments of Islam are the fundaments of every faith.

The only way to escape from Islamophobia is to click my heels together and say my favorite Dalai Lama quote (that I stole from my brother) - the truth we discover as we evolve and the world shrinks and our plastic shopping bags in new york city kill dolphins on the other side of the planet -

"There is no us and them. There is only us."

how to be a leader without really trying...

2010-10-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

[the context: i've written this to read to college students attending project nur's leadership conference this weekend from their website: project nur is a distinct and alternative Muslim voice: a civic identity grounded in pluralism and moderate thinking and action. it emphasizes civic action with the goal of forging a cohesive and mutually respectful multicultural community of university students committed to the advancement of human rights, civil rights, social justice, tolerance, understanding, and co-existence.]

i prefaced this talk with a quote from zarina, my middle daughter. when she was 10 or so, we were on our way to school where i was going to talk to her class about ramadan. she asked me, "so when do we find out that we're right?"

i said, "what do you mean?"

she said, "when do we find out that muslims are right and everyone else - like christians and jews and hindus - are wrong? do we find out when we die?"

and i said, "well, everyone is right. it's all the same thing. it's like a language, you can call god, allah, jesus, buddha, krishna and they are all just names for the same thing. all religions are trying to get us to the same place."

so here i am speaking in a muslim context, but i am really speaking to everyone. because we are all in this together.

here goes:

everywhere you look now, business culture is telling you how to be leader. there are books, seminars, cds and dvds all telling you to take charge.

saturday night, my daughter and i walked past a pop-up shop on 23rd st (in new york city) and there were mobiles and signs with affirmations and personal cheers like this:

be an individual
stand up for yourself
go your own way

you know the stuff. you see it all over the place. on posters, printed at the bottom of textbooks.

it occurred to me that the best leaders are the people who become leaders without really trying.

which doesn't mean it's easy. actually, it's really really hard. it's harder than doing every single leadership course and reading every book on it. that's like putting a lot of time into learning how to drive a car without ever knowing what you will drive or where you want to go.

from my experience on the planet, the best leaders are not the ones you imagine. they're not the ones who run the mean girls groups or the bullies in high school. they're not the ones who seem to have tons of friends around them all the time. they're not the ones trying to control anyone at all. a born leader isn't always - in fact, isn't often - a good leader.

real leaders, from my experience, are the people who are dedicated to a cause. who really believe in an idea. who are passionate and committed. so much so that they sometimes seem almost crazy.

in the harvard business school's "primal leadership" handbook, the initial premise - the culmination of their studies, articles and research - is that the "fundamental task of leaders... is to prime good feelings in those they lead. That occurs when a leader creates resonance - reservoir of positivity that frees the best in people."

this is interesting both from a prosaic perspective as well as from a spiritual one. for the purpose of this post, a great leader is someone who - by the example of their integrity and dedication - inspires others to something greater, bigger, more important.

for example, if you are obsessed with knitting and you go out of your way to find and create exceptional wool, and in the process, improve the lives of sheep and the people who raise them; you could find yourself an environmental leader.

from a spiritual perspective, if as a muslim, you take the life of the prophet muhammed (p.b.u.h.) - not necessarily the historical life, but the life and stories that we use as an example and a tool to help us negotiate the world - you find a man who is so devoted to the idea of the oneness of God and teaching compassion, honesty and tolerance that others eventually followed him.

it should be obvious here that a leader isn't in it for the money.

not that there's anything wrong with making money - but the power comes from the dedication to something bigger than personal profit - that's what draws people to you.

in my personal experience, i found i've become a leader when i've clearly stated what i believe in and how it makes me feel. people are drawn to that, they respond to it. not because i am trying to stand out, but because we are all humans and we recognize the universal emotions amongst us. when one expresses those feelings honestly and clearly, even to the point of vulnerability, people feel moved.

the most important lesson i learned from advertising came from a neurologist called donald calne. he said, “the essential difference between emotion and reason is that emotion leads to action while reason leads to conclusions.” (his book is called, “within reason: rationality and human behavior”)

the next step, once you are a leader, or perhaps when it's thrust upon you - as i found, when i suddenly became executive creative director of a large team at mccann-erickson - is what you do with it.

it seems that the biggest stumbling block for leaders is assertiveness. clearly and simply telling people what to do - whether they support you or sneer at you. most leaders, or people placed in positions of power, have trouble negotiating between over-assertiveness or under-assertiveness. under-assertive people become bullied by the people who they are meant to lead. they try too hard to be liked - they end by lacking direction.

in my case, i went out and bought a book called, "the girl's guide to being the boss (without being a bitch.)" or the chick in charge... i was trying to get a group of hostile people to work together, somewhat unsuccessfully.

and we all know the problem with over-assertive people - you've been avoiding those kids on the playground since you were four or five.

in forbes online recently, there was an interview with a neurobiologist about the brain chemistry of leaders. the interesting find was that as leaders become more successful, their testosterone levels rose, activating their dopamine systems. this means they become less empathetic to others and more likely to have a sense of infallibility.

the challenge for leaders, as they become successful, is arrogance.

we don't need brain scientists to tell us that, just history. or just the newspapers.

again, there's a spiritual side to this. just read lao tzu's "the art of war" - "a leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves." as muslims, we can take our example from the prophet as well, a great leader is selfless. it's not personal glory, it's the greater good.

bizarrely, as someone who works in advertising, i've always felt that selflessness has to be the starting point in every conversation.

i still try and sell stuff and often stuff of questionable tangible value. but i always try and find the larger story in every product. i try and find how it is part of the greater good. i might be working on a fragrance for calvin klein, skincare for avon or clothing for jennifer lopez, but i always try and approach it by thinking about the message it creates for society. sometimes, it's as simple as feeling better about yourself - and thus being kinder and more peaceful - in a crazy world. other times, it's about social or environmental responsibility.

i started my own advertising agency with the idea that it is possible to use the forces of capitalism for good. that it wasn't always about getting the consumer to love your brand, it was about loving your consumer. so if you were selling a lipstick, you were thinking about women and girls' self-esteem and confidence. if you were selling a pair of jeans to an african-american guy, you were thinking about his role in society and helping him get educated and stay empowered. i got involved with park51 - the lower manhattan muslim community center project - because i felt it was crucial to have an interfaith, non-sectarian space with a muslim starting point.

of course, i wanted it - and we needed it - in my neighborhood.

all that said, in my mind, there's a pitfall to all the conversation about leadership today. especially in the workplace. it's flipside to the '50s and early '60s where people did what they were told and often didn't question it. they worked, got married, had babies, watched them grow up, retired and died. they tended not to switch careers or get divorced or go back to college to re-think. they tended to lack perspective and larger goals.

but today, it's the opposite. it's all opposition. with all the go-your-own-way and take-a-stand theories, it's hard to get the boat moving at all. too many people are overwhelmed with the do-your-own-thing mentality and it takes years for them to figure out what that thing is. they flip-flop. they don't know how to fit into an organization and they don't know how to follow. my mother quoted a native american phrase, "there are too many chiefs and not enough indians."

too many people are trying to be leaders - and for the wrong reasons, more out of a desire for personal glory than a desire to change things for the better for everyone. too many people are leaping up and taking over because they want control, or they think they do, but they're not sure where they're going.

most people would be better leaders if they learned how to be better followers. how to listen more closely to what leaders were saying and choose smarter ones to follow. how to impact leaders - because as a follower, you give the leader his/her power - to stand up for the greater good. if you don't like the message, let the leader know, especially if it's a message that pretends to speak for you. don't let your leaders talk about violence or intolerance.

as a follower, if you believe in your leader, stand up for him or her. blog, twitter, facebook - the internet is a free and fast way to connect to a wide range of people. it's a communication platform. but what's even more useful - show up - attend events. create critical mass. be a body. not just a wired "slack activist."

in the days before the internet, people used to say, "you vote with your feet." or "your wallet." in today's world, that's even more powerful. go there. don't just join the facebook group, boycott (or buy) the brand. march. sit-in. talk to people.

malcolm gladwell wrote in the new yorker about why social media wouldn't have - couldn't have - created the civil rights movement in the u.s. because social media can often win minds, but it can't always win hearts. it can't often drag us away from our laptops and inspire us to take risks in the real world. "social media alone doesn't inspire the kind of high-risk behaviour required for social activism." we need to be more than "slack activists" and make things happen.

what was frustrating for me, as a muslim, was that after sept 11 - and even today - people going on about how muslims don't speak out about the violence and intolerance. i started a not-for-profit, 100 percent human and muslims for peace, especially to create that unified public voice. i don't want to argue - muslims DO speak out - but we need to do it more. and we need to speak out even more about the people who represent us. yes, on blogs and twitters and articles, but also in real life.

so in a sense, yes, every single one of us has a responsibility to be a leader - a thought leader - to talk to everyone we know about what we believe, at home, at work, in social settings. we all have a responsibility to do something that will make the world a better, kinder place because that's why we're here in the first place.

(oh, and i just answered the question - "why are we here?" - as well)

so - back to the beginning - the best leaders are the ones who aren't really trying. they're just trying to be better people.

who our friends are

2010-09-23T17:57:00.000-07:00

i've been blown away by the support we've received for the park51 project:
strippers, socialist workers and gay and lesbian organizations, hebrew school students, woody allen, salman rushdie, michael bloomberg, jon stewart, russell simmons, the african-american community, the jewish community of lower manhattan, christians, buddhists, hindus, agnostics, atheists, even a pot-smoking, amarillo, texas-raised quran hero (who ended an anti-muslim rally by grabbing a kerosene-soaked quran off a grill and skateboarded off, famously saying, "dude, you don't HAVE a quran!")

and, as a muslim, i keep asking myself, "are we going to remember who our friends are?"

when all the controversy dies down, are we going to leap on to the tea party's campaign and fight gay marriage and abortion, and complain about the jewish conspiracy and all those leftwing liberals?

we muslims - as any woman who's walked into a tea party full of vicious aunties will tell you - can be somewhat judgemental. the pursed lips and head-shaking and murmured, "astaghfir'Allahs" (God forgive us). the sideways glances as the porcelain tea cups clink politely. oh yes, and then there's the taliban.

will we have learned the right lesson from this? that tolerance, love and compassion, for people and situations we don't understand or that make us uncomfortable are always the better way. as muslims, we've been shown this kind of solidarity. can we learn to release our judgements and show the love back?

a friend of mine sent me an email today in which he said:

"One can only teach and live by example if one wishes to remain true to the larger spirit of humanity. Narrower interpretations are based on vicious forms of group tyranny. I am sure that it hurts when these narrow interpretations cloak themselves in the name of Islam - claiming to "own" it in some way that excludes all others."

in my mind, the most important lesson in Islam is the opening of every chapter (or sura) - the phrase we repeat over and over again, until perhaps we don't hear it any more - "the merciful, the compassionate." as the native americans said, all faiths are threads of the same rope. even if those faiths include agnostics and atheists. it's not just "people of the book," it's all of us. every one. we must learn to embody that compassion.

what i loved about william chittick's blog about islam on the huffington post is that it reminded us that the rules (and the people who break them) are not the point.

our friends are not always the people who seem to be just like us. our friends are the people who stand by us when we need them. we must appreciate their generosity and stand by them, too.

to all of our supporters - i know this isn't why you do it but - thank you.

Why Park51 Needs Ayaan Hirsi Ali and Wafa Sultan. And Irshad Manji and Parvez Sharma and El-Farouk Khaki

2010-08-26T07:12:00.000-07:00

Like every Muslim in the world (with internet access) and a bit of extra time, I've been watching the daily drama surrounding Park51. In my case, I watch with more interest. Though I am not a spokesperson, Park51 is in my neighborhood and was an outgrowth from the overcrowded mosque I attend.

What is becoming increasingly obvious, apart from the fact that no one seems to really know the facts about the Park51 project, is that as a community, we are letting outsiders make decisions and pronouncements FOR us. We are reacting rather addressing our needs.

Whether you are for or against men and women worshipping together, for or against gay and lesbian rights, for or against playing and listening to music, for or against hijab; let's talk to each other.

I read an article somewhere about how to react when you see a parent being abusive to a child in a public place. If you start by chastising the parent, you've guaranteed the child an even worse time when you leave. The first step is to tell the parent you understand how difficult it is, that it's hard to be patient. Then you might tell the parent what a wonderful child they have, or something to help them to see the situation differently for a minute. Help them step away from a moment of frustration. The first step to change starts with building bridges, releasing tension. Even with someone you really disagree with.

As Muslims, we need to start listening to each other. We need to engage and explore, gently and respectfully, especially in the beginning; but definitely thoroughly.

Park51 was created based on love and inclusion. It is open to all people. Thus it is also the place to learn and start dialogue about Muslim identity. We are redefining our identities as American Muslims - and whether we agree or not - we need the points of view of all Muslims who are open to dialogue, from Hamza Yusuf and Reza Aslan,Irshad Manji, Parvez Sharma, El-Farouk Khaki and anyone else who wants to make peace with his or her faith.

But we also need all those thinkers (some brilliant) who have thrown up their arms and walked away. We need to take their questions and critiques seriously. While we may need to separate cultural and personal narratives from larger issues, we need to listen, not dismiss. We need Hirsi Ali, we need Wafa Sultan, We need Ibn Warraq and Salman Rushdie. Because for every writer who has walked away, there are hundreds of other people who have found themselves alienated in similar ways and deserve to be heard. We need Muslims who have never before found a place where they feel at home and accepted - no matter how they choose to practice.

We also need everyone else - Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Bahai, Agnostics, Atheists. As the Prophet Muhammed (p.b.u.h.) is reported to have said, "There are as many paths to the divine as there are souls." We need a place where we can listen and discover our similarities and accept our differences. We may find crucial pieces that were missing in our own understanding of faith. The Dalai Lama has spoken beautifully and eloquently on Islam, so has Karen Armstrong and, of course, others.

We need to find a safe space to ask ourselves the hard questions - about female circumcision, about forced marriages, about poverty, literacy and violence, so much more - reach a real place for consensus on issues that harm people and lovingly agree to disagree in places where people can make choices.

Park51 has infused in its roots the interfaith work of Imam Feisal Rauf. But as an Muslim interfaith center, it cannot possibly allow itself to be circumscribed by any one man or woman. Even with people we admire, who seem beyond reproach - let's say, Gandhi or Mother Theresa - we often discover that they were humans after all, and as such subject to human foibles and caprices.

Park51 must be larger, more diverse and more committed to New York City and its values.

Park51's location is already forcing us to take so many sensitivities and viewpoints into account. We are in the unique position of having brought to the forefront so many different viewpoints on Muslims, on Islam, on our constitution and our freedoms, on our ways of worshipping and showing respect.

Ideally, we will become the crucible for Muslim thought in America and New York City's symbol of tolerance and harmony with all expressions of faith.

The Satanic Verses... replay

2010-08-19T11:10:00.000-07:00

Open on a scene of fist-pumping, screaming book-burners. Cut to a scene of screaming, sign-waving anti-Muslim protestors reciting the Lord's Prayer at a community board meeting or a pastor burning a Quran a day.

As someone who's been involved with the Park51 project from the beginning, I feel like I'm watching the same movie. (Deepak Chopra agrees in the Huff Post)

Some years ago, I interviewed Salman Rushdie for a magazine, just after the fatwah, before the hiding. When I read the onslaught of media about our project, it's down to the same thing Salman Rushdie told me, "No one's actually read the book."

Even my own mother said, "What?! It's not a mosque? It's not on ground zero? Why isn't anyone TELLING us this?"

Let me explain. I LIVE in lower Manhattan, about 12 blocks from the World Trade Center site.

Contrary to popular opinion, we are desperate for prayer space in the area. In our neighborhood, there is an increasingly large population of Muslims. Many of them work in the Financial district, but also on Canal street and in other local businesses.

Because the Muslim holy day is Friday, when most of them are at work in our area, our tiny storefront of a mosque spills over with people. They are lined up outside, crowding the sidewalk like an open call for a multicultural American Idol.

According to fire codes, our storefront mosque can only hold about 75 people. Thus, on Fridays, we had to schedule four or five prayer consecutive services in order to accommodate people. People who have to rush back to work have to pray on the sidewalk on pieces of cardboard. Mira Schor's My Whole Street is a Mosque explains how our whole neighborhood becomes instantly "hallowed ground."

Opposition suggests that there are other prayer areas in Manhattan, but they obviously have never tried to get from the lower Westside to the Upper eastside and back by lunch time. (You Muslims in the suburbs, especially the Canadian ones, clearly have NO idea.)

Some members of our congregation put together a plan to buy a nearby building to house the overflow. Obviously, Tribeca real estate is expensive and they bought an affordable but broken-down building that's sat empty for years, on a more or less deserted street. It was close, cheap and fulfilled our needs. It wasn't meant to be a symbol of anything.

In the fall of 2009, they started having regular Friday prayers and by the late fall, hundreds of people were coming. Because we LIVED in the neighborhood, it was a necessary service. It was one without symbolism – except when, from time to time during the Qutbah (sermon), we reflected on how lucky we were to be living in America. As for the charges against Imam Feisal, as someone who listened to his new-agey-self-searching qutbahs over the past 15 years, they were down to a word, spiritual and reassuringly apolitical. He never failed to remind us to be grateful for being American Muslims.

Now that the prayer room was operative, we all had a look at the space and realized it was much bigger than we needed - and, being Muslims, we all felt the right thing was to give something back to the neighborhood. Especially, a neighborhood that was made a wasteland by terrorists calling themselves Muslims.

We wanted to SHARE our space – our private property - with everyone.

We started brainstorming. One person dreamed of a gallery. Another, a playspace for kids. We envisioned cooking classes, performance spaces, classes for teenagers, a basketball court, a swimming pool (MY personal favorite), a wellness center. I wanted a Muslim prayer area that treated women equally, that was open to people of all sexual orientations, that was open to dialogue amongst Muslims of all beliefs, sects and practices - as well as other religions and atheists. We all wanted sustainable building materials and eco-friendly construction – maybe solar panels on the roof?

We got really excited about offering this gift to our community. We imagined the first-ever Muslim Y, with access for everyone. It would be something that we, as American Muslims, as New Yorkers, could really be proud of showing to our grandchildren.

Thus we made our first mistake. We introduced the idea at the community board meeting. All of a sudden, what we saw as a gift, an effort to enrich and heal, was taken (by some) as an assault on the people who had suffered on September 11.

Experience is not a qualifier in itself, but on September 11, 2001, I put my 6 and 4 year olds on the school bus. Then I watched the planes hit and wondered if I would ever see my daughters again. I sat on the steps on my building and comforted a sobbing neighbor whose husband was at Cantor on the top floor of the towers.

As the first tower collapsed, I ran through the crashing, the dust and crowds of screaming people, pushing my 1 1/2 year-old in a stroller. I went on a 13-hour trek with her and a friend to search for my older kids who had been evacuated from the U.N. school and then to bring them back home and give them something to eat.

I started out exhausted that day because the night before I'd come back from a week of looking after my ex-husband who had just suffered a brain hemorrhage. He was in the hospital in Stony Brook, Long Island.

Eventually, I escaped upstate for a few days. As we drove back into New York City, still in a panic, I called my youngest daughter's godmother, a Jewish friend who had lived with us for a while. She thought I shouldn’t come into the city until after Rosh Hashannah, just in case people found a reason for reprisals against Muslims.

We picked her up on our way back into the city and she rode back down with us in case we needed help. We were lucky the police let us through the barricades because we had a car full of groceries and air purifiers, hard hats, water bottles and gas masks to deliver to the workers down at ground zero. The hardware stores in the city were sold out and everything downtown was a ghost town.

I spent the next two months crying. I sobbed every time I ran into a friend or a neighbor who survived, who was alive and well, and we hugged each other in the street. I cried at funerals for friends and neighbors I lost. I cried as I walked my kids through the acrid air up to Soho to the school bus. I cried every time I put them on the bus and was seized by a panic that they might not come back. I cried every time I caught a glimpse of the news. Though like so many of us downtown, I stopped reading newspapers or watching tv. I’d already watched people jumping out of buildings in real life, I’d felt the incredible rush of wind and scrape of dust as the buildings collapsed. I lived near the burning wreckage for months.

But even while our tears were still wet, we felt the beginnings of the backlash. One evening, crossing Canal street at the police checkpoint, I was dressed in a sari for an Indian art event. A group of sandy-haired young men strode towards me and jeered, “We’re going to bomb you m--f---s right back to the stone age!” and spit on my sari, as the police just stood silently and watched. I was scared but I understood. America is physically isolated. They can't tell an Indian from an Afghan.

Then I was in the Tribeca Grand working on an ad campaign for unity when my super-trendy Sikh friend, Waris Singh Aluwalia, was pushed up against the sofa by some tipsy preppy guys standing at the bar. Not long afterwards, he was punched, too. All right, they can't tell a Sikh from an Afghan either.

Still, slowly but surely, life went back to normal. The burning cooled. The air cleared. The restaurants and shops hobbled open. People who were traumatized moved away. New people moved in (mostly financial industry types). There were babies and strollers and a Wholefoods. The playground got bigger. The school was packed.

And, as everyone knows, the best antidote to suffering and trauma, is the joy of life and moving forwards. For those of us who lived around the World Trade Center site, it became a nuisance as its construction continually halted traffic, blocked roads and made our cell phones go out. We still shopped at Century 21, had coffee in the park, walked over the windy pedestrian bridge to get to the movie theater on the other side.

The only people who still called it Ground Zero were tourists who came to look and buy postcards or baseball hats or snowglobes of the burning buildings. Or to take pictures of each other in front of the fence.

All of a sudden, the argument isn’t about reviving a deserted street in our neighborhood. It isn’t about all the jobs and services we will bring to the place where we live. It’s about a symbol.

The same symbol you can buy on t-shirts and postcards and posters.

Maybe the analogy's not the Satanic Verses, maybe it’s abortion rights. We all love children. Who doesn’t want to kiss rosy-cheeked babies?

But some of us feel the day-to-day life of the mother and her unborn child might be so difficult, that we have to agree to the pain of abortion. Some of us feel that human life – as a symbol – is so dear, that there is never any justification for taking it. Is it the prosaic or the poetic?

Is this a place where New Yorkers live? Or is it a symbol for all of America?

And if it’s a symbol – where does the No-Muslim-Zone end? No-Muslims three blocks’ away? No-Muslims four or five? Can they pray on cardboard on the sidewalk or is that an affront as well? What about Muslims living and working in the area? Should they be denied services because their religion was hijacked? Where does our presence stop causing offense? (A taxi driver will tell you, all the way up to 23rd Street, at least).

Should I and my Muslim neighbors leave lower Manhattan in deference to the hurt feelings of all Americans?

I can’t deny the anguish and suffering of people who lost loved ones on September 11. I remember that panic, that sense of being violated by the event itself. I live the trauma myself.

But isn’t the answer to the hole that pain creates, the pleasure of life and love? Isn’t the most effective way to heal through forgiveness and faith? That's what they tried to do with the Catholic Center for Prayer and Understanding near Auschwitz.

We want Park51 to be a sanctuary, a refuge, a place to restore yourself, body and soul – no matter what your age, religion, sect, race, gender, sexual orientation.

And the money for the project? We're working on it. But we want to make sure that every donation is above board. We are vetting every penny. None of us wants ties to people who might use their money to buy influence and destroy our dream.

So let me explain again. It is not a mosque. It is a nonsectarian community center and prayer space. There will be an interfaith meditation room and memorial to the people we lost in 9/11. It is not at ground zero. It is two very long dark blocks away.

It is a place where children of all faiths will play in the pool together. A place where teenagers of all faiths will perfect their basketball techniques. A place where everyone might learn how to cook and eat delicious foods from around the world. This where we can have a library with a reading room, a place for high-risk adults to learn to read or learn how to apply for jobs, for the elderly to have a meal and meet their friends.

Park51 is our gift to ALL New Yorkers. Especially those of us who live downtown and need every service it offers.

Let's not burn books. Let's take a deep breath and read them for the message of understanding they might bring.

buying soul

2010-07-13T16:45:00.000-07:00

avon just made the front page of wwwd by buying a jewelry brand sterling silver jewler silpada along with two skincare lines, liz earle (british natural skincare) and tiny tillia (children's bath products).

sounds smart. avon can become a purveyor of hotly-desired objects and perhaps overcome some of its psychological obstacles for consumers in north america. they can benefit from the learnings of small brands that are still close to the passion and striving of the original owners. small brands are often based a love for the product as well as for the consumer.

how lucky for avon to catch that magic.

high fashion online? how common.

2010-07-12T16:03:00.000-07:00

marc jacobs has broken down. according to the ny times, high-fashion businesses are stepping gently into the internet pool.

i have to admit, even when down to my last dollar, i am a luxury consumer.

if i can't afford it - and i can't find a cool target/h&m/uniqlo/topshop collaboration that requires a lot of hunting to obtain - then i'd rather go without.

sometimes, especially at the last minute or while in remote locations, i absolutely have to have a deck of tarot cards thus they must be made by prada or hermes and i am forced to buy them on ebay.

oh, and i live too near canal street to have more than disdain for fakes.

what's an addict to do?

when i was in miami this spring, i fell madly in love with a cavalli dress from the current collection, but was wise and didn't fall prey to an impulse purchase. however, when i come back to nyc, it seems i can't live without it and i cannot find it anywhere but the saks website. and it's sold out in my size. ebay?

oh, if only cavalli sold his collection online.

but gasp, yes, roberto cavalli has a link on his site to yoox - and i am rescued!

let's face it, luxury brands, i am shopping online.

it's true, nothing beats the scent of the store, the music, the feel of the fabric in your hand, checking the fit and shape in the flattering light of the dressing room, the gleam of the chrome, the heart-pumping moment when the saleswoman hands you the shiny shopping bag.

but in a pinch, i'll shop online - and, if i am, so is everyone else.

i might be pressed for time, have second thoughts, or be too far away from the boutique.

high-end retailers take note, i HAVE seen some really sexy home pages, especially on my glossy screen powerbook. if you don't believe the online experience can make you rabid with desire, check out glossy internet magazines like nowness and drool over the glistening images of untouchable objects.

i suppose, at some time, shopkeepers might have refused to make catalogues, the idea being that a mere photograph couldn't possibly capture the soul of a beautiful object. but that was before irving penn made toothbrushes divine, before hiro made make-up delicious and raymond meier made prada shoes lickable.

the experience might not be same but the end result is - the click of my credit card and the shiny package in my hands.

i suppose i'm just common.

let's be friends

2009-12-23T08:12:00.000-08:00

ok, everyone's on facebook these days.

from school kids to grandmother's sharing pictures of the grandkids to MI5 agents (they've been taken off) to corporations, production companies and brands.

amongst the successes, brands that appeal to young people, that are also young, playful and spontaneous

like avon's mark

http://www.brandchannel.com/home/post/2009/12/14/Avon-Is-On-The-Mark-With-Social-Networking.aspx

so here's the question - can you be friends with a luxury brand?

i asked a couple of people what they expect from their facebook "friends"

they all said the same thing, they want to see what their friends are doing, want to see if their friends are interested in the same things, they want a window into their friends' lives.

for a luxury brand, they want some "secrets" - inside information on what really happened at the shoot, the items that people are REALLY buying, the most exciting trend predictions, maybe secret sales or info on how to get on the waiting list for the latest "it" bag - they want to feel like they are part of the brand story.

they want all that stuff that's "just between friends" - they want to feel part of something special.

what they don't want is recycled press releases and advertisements.

The Revolution will not televised

2009-11-05T05:21:00.000-08:00

gil-scott heron had it right.

every 5 minutes (it feels like), someone asks me to work on a project, be part of a team or tells me about a "revolutionary" new way to approach advertising and marketing.

there's the incredible new car app - that resulted in an interactive billboard in times square that you could draw on from your iphone if you downloaded their app.

cute. and really fun. but it's a party trick. does it bring you closer to buying that car? does it speak to the car's benefits and your desires?

it seems like most of the earth-shattering new product development ideas are like that. gimmicks, party tricks or attention-grabbers, but unrelated to the the key - the reason you wanted anti-cold medicine or vitamin-enhanced energy bars to begin with. or they are personalizations - just a step ahead of the old nike id - you can choose the color, the laces and the logo - but it's still the same shoe. you can't turn it into a hiking sandal, a boot or gloves. and, of course, the big brother corporation will still limit how far your "individuality" can go. thus they are not customization, just variations.

the point is - breaking the mold isn't just changing the shape of the mold - it doesn't mean putting your print ads online and/or making them interactive. it's not enough to just keep bombarding consumers with the same stuff with slight variations, in slightly different formats.

as consumers, we're fed up. we're no longer willing to drop our dollars on novelty items that are not much better than what we had before.

so what is new?

1. start with product development - try and think like a start-up - what is missing in people's lives? where's the hole? what do people really want? what do you really want?

if you're stuck, think BIG. think macro.

what do we all need? food, shelter, water, air. and then work your way backwards until you arrive at the beautiful, insulated teapot that pours perfectly, keeps your tea warm for hours and has a leaf strainer so efficient that you will never go back to tea bags. price it fairly. package it enticingly.

but re-bottling an old product you have and then trying to make your target market love it is sneaky, unless you really can fulfill a need. try and solve a problem beautifully and elegantly.

ask yourself WHY DO WE EXIST? why is this product necessary?

if you're interested in longevity, design AND substance matter.

2. think about new ways to talk to people. think about how you respond yourself. think of ways in which to bring the consumer into the story, to speak to them respectfully, to really listen to their desires. it's no longer tv commercials or tv commercials on youtube.

it's communication that adds richness and density to their lives.

it's more than just a packaged, sponsored sale pitch, it's something that allows you to feel the fingerprints of the maker still smudged into the surface.

it's something that makes you feel connected to something bigger and more important.

or something that makes you see the incredible beauty in minute detail perfected. come on, zen buddhists know all about this.

it's not about your methods of communication, it's about your ability to reach into people's souls. and really speak to them. honestly. with love, intelligence and caring.

it's not shiny and plastic.

it's deep and complicated and very pleasurable. but also trustworthy.

that is the revolution.

american muslim consumer conference

2009-10-29T05:07:00.001-07:00

this saturday, oct 31 - admittedly, halloween - is the first american-muslim consumer conference.

even the fact that it exists in itself, is a thrilling event.

given the current vagaries of the economy, when you discover an entire affluent group of consumers who are literally LONGING to be targeted - why would you ignore them?

here's the thing - muslim-americans spend money - our value as consumers is estimated as $179 billion to $200 billion - and we are educated, tolerant, open to marketing and desperate to see ourselves well-portrayed in the media.

even the discreet, small-scale advertising targeted toward muslim-american consumers has been incredibly effective - we come out in force when we see ourselves recognized. resulting sales have been proven to increase 2-400%. on a larger scale, imagine the possibilities...

and here's the thing - targeting muslim-americans needn't be just selling halal food - the quran exhorts humans to look after the earth, perfectly synchronicitous with the green movement in marketing.

the quran also asks that we treat workers fairly, that we give charity, that we help people with our consumption - a perfect segue into fair trade products, products that help struggling people succeed, products that give back in so many ways.

muslim-friendly financial products could involve a share in profits and losses, a responsibility for social and environmental effects.

muslim-friendly clothing is not only modest, it's organic, it's fair-trade, it's attractive and it doesn't overtax our resources.

muslim-friendly books aren't just based on islam - they are books that espouse values that help us to be better, healthier, kinder and more well-adjusted people...

all right, corporations, we're practically putting this in your laps. on your marks, get set, sell!

let's get retarded in here

2009-10-28T05:50:00.000-07:00

feeling uneasy & anxious today. something's got to change.

admittedly, i have the patience of a fruit fly.

but post-pilates yesterday, we were all sitting around discussing the economy, the way the super-rich are manipulating the poor - through technology, drug testing, money, precious metals, etc - and all the current scams.

and i was drained.

i just wanted to go shopping. i want to see bright colors and shiny objects. i want sparkling party dresses and high-heeled shoes. i want a week in disneyworld where absolutely everything is clean and happy and insignificant.

suddenly, after a year, i was desperate to go into a department store, a huge, glistening emporium of gifts and pleasure. i want to be distracted and entertained on a scale so large and insincere it brightens up all the dark, depressing corners of my mind. even it's only temporary.

this is why, if you're a retailer, it's so important to say, "oh look, we've got all this fun stuff! come see!" it's important to be the retail equivalent of a movie like "knocked-up" or "pineapple express" - so incredibly amusing and silly and smiling that you brighten everyone's mood - without leaving them with the sour feeling of having been scammed or driven into debt in the aftermath. (because then they won't come back).

that's the rising appeal of places like topshop or designer collaborations with target, wal-mart & kohl's - it's a carnival, it's ethereal, immediate and fabulous - but you always feel you've had value for your limited funds.

that's what i want right now.

a cheap thrill.

let me in!

2009-10-05T06:01:00.000-07:00

been thinking about high-end luxury brands especially after reading that jimmy choo is going to come out with a total lifestyle brand.

and wondering (like pam danziger's astute readings) whether it is really necessary.

we are all - even shopping addicts like myself - shopping differently. we think twice, even on impulse purchases. every penny saved is really a penny saved. i find myself only parting with cash when i feel something is absolutely necessary, even when i can afford it.

or one-time only rare and remarkable. i am drawn to temporary pop-up shops, to ethereal and immediate collaborations between low and high - vera wang for kohl's, norma kamali for wal-mart, alexander wang for gap, mcqueen for target and christopher kane for topshop... years ago, i stood in line in the pouring rain for HOURS to get the anya hindmarch bags for wholefoods - i would still do that today.

there is the thrill of the chase, the idea that something is only available for a minute, the sense that i am clever for recognizing a historical event and becoming a part of it.

but there is the other thing - something that was previously out of my reach - either economically or psychology, just offered me a step up.

suddenly, as a brand, it is no longer cold, it is both re-invigorated, fresh and friendly.

as a consumer, i felt i had a personal invitation to come inside.

when an otherwise unapproachable luxury house like gucci, prada, louis vuitton or chanel creates an affordable and totally surprising collaboration, we'll feel like the door is open.

now they are speaking to ME.

and next time i have a bit more money to invest - i'll walk through the heavy glass doors into the icy showroom and feel the heat of desire because the brand has turned its perfect gaze to us...

ethereal story, pedestrian conclusion

2009-09-02T04:55:00.000-07:00

it's so strange that a beautiful vision can transport you - take you out of your own reality into someone else's, transform your moment into a dream - and a bad tagline can send you crashing back down into reality.

the wrong words can turn the whole thing into an obvious cliche or a bad joke.

is anyone listening?

technorati

2009-04-27T12:51:00.000-07:00

having trouble getting my blog on there. Technorati Profile

let's see if this works.

swap claim code

please excuse the technical malfuctions.

WHO CARES???

2009-04-27T07:01:00.000-07:00

i spent this weekend up at columbia at an event called Muslim Leaders of Tomorrow.

apart from being floored by the sheer talent, credentials, education, skills and clout of the young muslims in the attendance - i was also blown away by what we learned.

our first lecture was by two PR companies (Fenton and Auburn communications, respectively) - who reminded us how to deal with the press effectively, how to become the go-to person for press outlets, how to keep control of an interview and how to make sure that what you're doing and saying is newsworthy.

which led perfectly into my second part - the op-ed project - we took part in an incredible program that attempts to level the field in policy-making and influence by increasing the number of women writing op-eds. currently, editorial writers are 90% white male. this is partly because only 1 in 10 op-ed submissions comes from a woman.

however, for me, the most interesting part of both programs was a question from catherine orenstein, one of the founders of the op-ed project:

do you understand your knowledge, experience and power in terms of its value to others?

in other words, why does what you want to say matter?

in other words, SO WHAT?

this is a question i tend to ask clients i am working for - and it usually gets them angry and irritated - but it is incredibly useful in getting them to appeal to their audiences more effectively.

think about your message. is it internal or designed for your target?

for instance, Google's mission - do not do evil - is internal. it's for the people inside google.

if your mission is "artistic excellence" - that's for you to strive for - not for audiences who want a story, an emotional connection, who want to be moved, distracted and entertained.

when you think about what you do - always ask yourself - WHO CARES?

not from the pov, that's "it's good for them" - because no one wants to take their medicine.

but how does what you do/create/communicate add positive value to someone's life in a way that he/she will seek you out?

how do you become the object of desire?

by asking yourself again and again the hard question - WHO CARES?

Technorati Profile

Muslims for Peace!

2009-04-22T16:32:00.000-07:00

yes, advertising CAN make changes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JZF25_DUZc

hurray! queen rania has favorited our video on her youtube channel - it's just the beginning. time to start shooting more...

in the beginning, there was the word

2009-04-21T09:09:00.000-07:00

back when i was a freelance writer/copywriter, this biblical verse (john) was on my business card.

and the point is, the words matter.

quite often, ideas begin with the right words. finding them takes time.

and the wrong ones - or too many words - can kill an idea in its infancy.

i remember i did a job for japanese client and my agent called me all distressed, she said, the client said, why should i pay so much money for only three words?

i was laughing my head off.

let's think - how much would you pay for three seminal words like "just do it" or two like "think different"?

yes, the build-up to the nike line was brilliant. and now it's dogging them a bit.

and images matched with the apple ad really made a huge difference. but the words brought the brand front and center in people's minds.

so while i LOVE that elevator pitch thing from the harvard business school, the missing element is the word-finder.

because the choice of words make all the difference between predictable and inspiring.

if you're talking about something fun, you want the words to be bright, enthusiastic and punchy.

if you're talking about luxury or banks, you want the words to have weight, importance, history, a sense of responsibility and care.

fragrance and cosmetics? the words are generally sensual, indulgent, romantic - but they are also light and transparent - they inspire dreams.

fashion? they should be bold, unexpected and definitive. they should speak to the way the wearer identifies him/herself. unless it's a brand based on tradition or investment, fashion is playful and exciting, it's a chance to reinvent yourself.

art and dance? the words should dance or splash colors on the page, the thrill should come from the immediacy, the ability to move your emotions and touch your soul. (the right words might even cause stendhal syndrome!)

just been asked to work on an american fashion brand who wants to be playful fresh and, of course, american. and i had to ask for a lot more details.

because what's american? ernest hemingway or william faulkner? mark twain? hunter s. thompson? willa cather?

what's more american - tommy hilfiger, ralph lauren, donna karan, calvin klein - or is the gap? coach, cole haan, ann taylor, american apparel, kate spade?

we're in a recession. differentiation is more and more important. what separates all those pretty pictures on billboards and websites?

lucky me. otherwise the hbs elevator pitch tool would make me irrelevant.

the words are key.

let this be a lesson to you

2009-04-18T05:07:00.000-07:00

this has to be one of the most brilliant tools out there.

get out your thesaurus and let the harvard business school help you:

http://www.alumni.hbs.edu/careers/pitch/

the idea is to take your pitch/your existing business/your idea and like twitter - edit it to the most salient, exciting points delivered with passion and faith -

oh yes, i could use that often myself. i LOVE adjectives.

just imagine if EVERYONE used this...

that said, a thesaurus is key because the word choices hbs gives you are so cliche and predictable, you will sound like a venerable old bank (and we know how much everyone adores banks these days) if you use them.

oh gosh, if people do this properly, i may soon be unnecessary!

come on, get happy

2009-04-17T17:42:00.000-07:00

at least in the beauty/fashion industry, everyone is operating in panic mode.

people who don't have jobs are leaping and jumping every time someone calls them for something - even if they want to pay you in dreamsicles.

people who DO have jobs are having panic attacks, taking valium, doing yoga classes obsessively and not answering anyone unnecessary - whether it's on the phone, by email or seeing them in the street.

people spend days and days trying to make decisions.

and then they change their minds.

or the budgets get cut because someone else changed his mind.

or they get laid off because someone said it was the smart thing to do in this economy.

wandered around the shops on wednesday and noted that in henri bendel, bergdorf goodman and saks - the only people on the selling floors were salespeople. it felt like a mauseoleum.

no wonder no one wants to go to shops.

instead of retail therapy, they've become fear-inducing places trying to deplete your financial insulation against the onslaught of the economy.

we need to figure out a new way to sell stuff.

a fluttery silk-shift printed with enormous flowers and beading on the neck can still stop me dead in my tracks.

and those metallic high-heeled prada gladiators. the chanel black hightops. a cool, multicolored FLIP camera.

a bottle of hampton privet hedge fragrance.

i want them...

we just need to change how we buy. i don't want to buy in a suffocating, windowless edifice where everything feels artificial and manipulated.

i want fresh natural salespeople. i want to feel like i'm getting something customized for me, something special and original. maybe handmade.

i want daylight and air.

i want to feel like i've got my friends around.

and i want to feel like i'm paying a fair price and not mortgaging my kids' future - no bad plastic, no bottles that can't be recycled, no horrific chemical ingredients or treatments, nothing made by child labor or political prisoners.

come on,

we all need stuff.

you can't really get EVERYTHING at wholefoods.

the way to a man's heart might be through his stomach but a woman still falls for something pretty.

Re-Think Beauty

2009-04-01T13:32:00.000-07:00

i'm not talking about freckles here.

i'm talking about why the big retouched picture with the celebrity will not move mascara. or skin cream.

or anything else attached to the logo on the lower righthand corner.

we are not buying formulas any more.

we want trust and intimacy.

and some fun.

2 weeks' ago, i was interviewing for a job as creative director of major cosmetic company in europe.

before i met with the person at the company, i dragged my huge portfolio up and met with the headhunter. then i was given 4-pages of questions to answer:
which celebrities have i worked with,
how comfortable am i in the world of celebrities,
how many top photographers have i worked with,
how comfortable am i managing their talent,
what are the budgets of the ad campaigns i have worked on, etc. etc.

(needless to say, i cleverly forgot that it was st. patrick's day & the interview took place on 5th ave & 57th st - had to climb police barricades, etc. thus arrived sweaty, disheveled& 15 minutes' late). i rushed through my portfolio like a chipmunk on speed.

i ended my interview by saying, i think the brand has great potential but it is currently dead in the water. no one cares.

on top of that

traditional advertising is not compelling any more.

if you're a big company, you have to do it a little bit - from time to time - so you get to have fun at the shoot and feel glamorous.

but traditional advertising does not get women in the door of shops.

the cosmetics sales floor at bergdorf goodman, saks 5th ave, bloomingdale's, nordstrom are mausoleums.

everyone knows now that if you throw enough money at her, any celebrity or top model will put her face on your product. that doesn't mean she is putting your product on her face.

all those top photographers are learning to churn out the least offensive (or exciting) stuff and no one believes it any more.

i told her i had read a ton of blogs and no one was even talking about her brand, except to say that they were doing nothing.

their last big product breakthrough was a packaging gimmick not a real innovation. and it wasn't reviewed well.

on top of everything else - their communication lacked love and passion.

i said, you need to speak like you LOVE your consumer. you have to love women.

and you need a real PASSION and excitement for your product - it needs to be palpable and electric - it has to INSPIRE.

you have to be offering a woman a bit of fun, an escape, a laugh

and you also have to speak with honesty and accountability.

i've spoken to tons of women about why they are buying beauty products today and the answer is the same. it's word-of-mouth. if a friend tells them the product is incredible, really does what it says it does, they will scrimp and save and go without (and climb barricades) to get it.

i said, look, i'm not a rock star. i'm not interested in going to celebrity parties or hanging out in clubs with photographers.

i'm a real woman, a single mum with three kids who worries about paying her bills, pacifying her exhusbands, getting to work on time, setting a good example for my daughters and buying products that are worth the money i sacrifice.

i'm interested in giving other women a great product, starting a conversation with them, listening to them and making them happy.

we need to stop trying to get the women to come to us.

we have to go to them.

we have to give them something wonderful.

and then they might come back again.

oh - needless to say, i did not get the job.

mizani

2009-03-26T12:12:00.001-07:00

marketing with love

2009-03-26T11:26:00.000-07:00

i adore this article from ad age

http://bit.ly/82jTh

kentucky fried chicken is filling potholes in their community - and branding them.

four or five years ago, i was working on a christmas catalogue an african-american beauty brand called carol's daughter. and the woman in charge of the project, clarisa, was someone i had worked with previously on an african-american haircolor brand called mizani.

both projects were really exciting for me because imho the african-american audience is underserved by marketing and communication. despite the fact that they ARE buyers of prestige products, the advertising geared specifically to the "ethnic market" is cheap and cheerful.

maybe not even so cheerful.

it assumes that they've got no money and even less taste.

ethnic hair products are generally embarassingly cheaply-packaged and full of questionable ingredients.

so i was excited about creating beautiful, sophisticated communication that spoke to an african-american woman's aspirations as well as her needs. work that was respectful and exciting. something that didn't speak down to her.

but in both cases, i suggested to clarisa that she reduce her advertising budget and instead do something that spoke the the community.

for mizani - how about helping women who've lost their hair to too much lye and haircolor? how about teaching them how to use products more effectively and how to protect their hair?

in the case of carol's daughter, it would have been the first christmas post-katrina. rather than an ad or even a printed catalogue i suggested they create a series of "travel kits" and deliver them to homeless families all over the american south.

they would gain the goodwill of the african-american community and they would also gain a lot of loyal users (because the products are great) who would purchase the products in the future.

needless to say, they ignored my suggestion.

i still believe that if you love your audience, you can always find a way to give them something to help them love you back.

because selling stuff is kind of like dating - and if you don't love the person you're trying to seduce - then sooner or later, they'll see right through it.

free or slavery?

2009-03-22T16:05:00.001-07:00

when it comes to helping your friends, there is always a place where you have to ask yourself, "what is this worth?"

there's always a point when, because you're doing something for nothing, they run you round in circles "getting it perfect."

their answer is they are so personally-invested in the product, they are so close to it, that they have to call you at 3am with a BRILLIANT idea that disregards everything you've said to them so far.

everything that you've spent 15 or 20 years learning and perfecting and getting well-paid for doing.

here's where the problem starts.

most people don't respect what they get for free. (and if they get it for even half-price, somewhere in their minds, they are thinking that if they REALLY HAD THE MONEY they'd go to the expensive guy.)

perceived value. sadly.

i was talking to a lawyer the other day and i really liked her. so i said, "could i hire you?"

and she said, "you can't afford me."

and then of course, i was desperate to figure out how to get the money to pay for her services. she referred me to another lawyer who charges a very fair price and, of course, i secretly believed the other person was substandard.

that's why when your friend (or your mum's friend or a friend of a friend) asks you to help rather than hiring someone to design her logo or write her tagline, she is never totally happy with any of your work.

in the end, after you've worked like a dog, she takes your design/tagline - the style of which has been good enough for several multimillion corporations - and futzes with it in appleworks or something and decides that she could have just done it herself all along.

and when (if) she becomes really successful, she will hire fabien baron or doug lloyd or something.

so

i suggest that - unless you are helping a friend with a not-for-profit charity and maybe even then - you should charge them. even more if they are a family friend.

if they don't have cash, charge a percentage of profits or sales or something that equals what you would charge in real life.

you can have a contract that shows a donation of services to a not-for-profit

and/or one that requires them to mention you in any PR or press materials.

because not being appreciated when you're working for nothing is just slavery.

money for nothing

2009-03-13T12:18:00.000-07:00

i go to a brilliant young acupuncturist called mona chopra who is just beginning to build her practice.

and since work is quiet these days, i asked if she wanted to do a trade - branding, copywriting, design, marketing strategy - for treatments. three days work at $500 a day - though of course it would be well more than 3 days for someone just starting out, but that was my cap.

she said, oh no, i don't think i can afford to invest that much in my business!

so i said, you will have to invest in your business whether it's in time or money, but i suggest you start some supercheap, viral marketing.

step one: sit and figure out your strength/point of difference. describe your practice in one sentence. and see why that makes you better or different than any other acupuncturist (or magazine or dance company or rainforest organization).

if it helps to brainstorm with someone, do it. but make sure they know a bit about the field and the competition across categories.

also, make sure they are going to brave enough to help you cut back on all your adjectives and long explanations.

last of all, make sure you make your description simple, short and clear.

make your name fun and friendly.

people want to be able to categorize you. that makes them understand you and have a platform to engage with you. otherwise, you are a hazy cloud.

if you seem to be something incomprehensible, undefinable - it's too much work - people will just walk past. especially right now. when the world feels so strange and scary.

so you need to give yourself a position that doesn't just make sense to you, but that makes sense to people who've never experienced - or even thought about what you do.

my friend mona worried that if she defined herself too much, she'd limit her audience.

i had to explain that the more you draw your lines, the more space there is to grow. it's a structure. and, right now, niche branding is appealing.

you know what you'll get.

and that's what you want.

step two: set up a facebook and a twitter account, a basic website and a blog. use your new positioning to describe yourself. put up a couple of posts so there's something for people to discover.

build a facebook group for acupuncture or join one and write a lot of comments.

make your website an informational site on acupuncture itself.

this is also your platform to describe yourself more fully. like a newspaper article - put the immediate stuff upfront, your position, your who-what-where-when-how and then slowly descend through the whys and back up to expand on the hows.

this allows the reader to learn about you at their own pace. or level of engagement.

step three: get out on the street. for instance, if you're an acupuncturist, you should go to spas, hair salons, vitamin shops, the whole body section at whole foods, juice bars. and hang out and talk to the people who work there.

tell them why you're so great. why acupuncture is so great. offer them a free treatment. give them your card and - if they enjoyed it or found it effective - tell them to pass it on.

put up your flyers and cards in gyms and yoga and pilates studios. take a class and make an effort to talk to the teacher afterwards.

and the thing is - if you really believe in your product - so will everyone you tell.

step four: take your needles out on the street. if you go to a party, take a small travel case and offer to show people quick remedies. or use acupressure to explain.

if you're sitting in the park on a nice day, have a friend sit on a folding chair and do a live acupuncture performance. explain to people who are watching what you are doing. give them a card. or a free mini-treatment. offer to talk at any events that need experts on chinese medicine or acupuncture.

step five: get online and look for blogs and websites that discuss acupunture and chinese medicine, then post comments. and make sure it includes your contact information.

the point being there are a lot of cheap pricks.

simply paying for advertising is too easy.

plus, no one believes it any more.

girl power

2009-02-24T16:00:00.000-08:00

i'm getting ready to do a presentation on advertising to a whole bunch of 13 year-olds at the United Nations International School tomorrow morning.

and i'm nervous.

because their teachers dig out those old subliminal seduction books from the 70s and then they show them ads and point out "hidden" sexual organs or secret psychological manipulations that convince them to buy stuff.

or how we make girls feel bad about themselves.

and as usual, i am (like aaron eckhart in thank you for smoking) the evil empire.

i once had to do it opposite naomi wolf who was whooping up the girls and saying, "you need to hold advertising agencies accountable!"

so i said, "you need to hold YOURSELVES accountable."

there's a lot of victim mentality in complaining that images of women make you feel bad or manipulated.

first of all, when you're going down the highway and you see a huge billboard for a big mac or a whopper and fries - and you're older than 5 - do you really think that when you go through the drivethru, your order will look like that?

it is ADVERTISING.

we are selling an ideal. we are indeed convincing you to buy something by making it look as good as possible. it's a dream. it is not reality.

and the truth is - no one wants to buy reality. not least because we've already got lots of it.

but if you really don't like the advertising, get rid of it.

consumers don't seem to realize how much power they have.

how many creatives have made a beautiful socially-conscious ad for a client and had it get killed in focus groups because the consumers just don't care?

the number of times i've fought to have a woman without heavy make-up and/or retouching and had focus groups complain that she looks tired, ugly or like she just hasn't put herself together.

or shown a woman with a normal body and had her killed (not really just the picture) because "her thighs are fat."

or the number of times a line of copy gets removed or re-written because a consumer writes a letter saying that it insulted or offended him or her in one way or another.

i always say, "if you don't like the advertising - or the way women are portrayed, write a letter to the company. call them or tell them. ask your friends to do the same."

and i remind them, when they complain about britney spears or paris hilton, that they actually have the ultimate power:

"if you don't like britney spears or paris hilton or miley cyrus - don't buy their stuff. consumers control what is sold.

hate it?

don't buy it."

by the way, people are not buying Dove products.

> Study: Skinny Women Better for Bottom Line
> Researchers Find Thin Models Make Viewers Like Brands More, but Themselves
> Less
>
> Quote: "The really interesting result we're seeing across multiple studies
> is that these thin models make women feel bad, but they like it," Mr. Kees
> said. "They have higher evaluation of the brands. With the more regular-size
> models, they don't feel bad. Their body image doesn't change. But in terms
> of evaluations of the brands, those are actually lower."
>
> By Jack Neff
>
> Published: July 30, 2008
> BATAVIA, Ohio (AdAge.com) -- Thin is still in for advertising, new research
> suggests, unless you're trying to sell cookies or self-esteem.
>
> Women who had just seen thin models were nearly four times more likelyto
> turn down a snack pack of Oreo cookies offered as thanks for their
> participation in the study than women who hadn't.
>
>
> A study by business professors at Villanova University and the College of
> New Jersey, inspired by Dove's "Campaign for Real Beauty," shows that ads
> featuring thin models made women feel worse about themselves but better
> about the brands featured.
>
> Seeing thin models also made college-age women far more likely to turn down
> a snack pack of Oreo cookies offered as thanks for their participation in
> the study, or to opt for a reduced-fat version. Women who had just seen thin
> models were nearly four times more likely to say no to Oreos than women who
> hadn't, and 42% more likely to opt for reduced-fat cookies if they did
> indulge.
>
> Women in a sample of 194 college students aged 18-24 expressed more negative
> feelings about their sexual attractiveness, weight and physical condition
> after seeing thin models than before. So-called high self-monitoring women,
> or those more concerned about what others think of their appearance, were
> the most negatively affected by seeing the thin models in the study.
>
> More likely to buy
> The professors are still preparing a written report on results from a second
> phase of the research, which found that despite the negative effect on their
> body image, women preferred ads showing thin models and said they were more
> likely to buy products featured in those ads than in ones showing
> "regular-size models," said Jeremy Kees, a business professor at Villanova.
>
> "The really interesting result we're seeing across multiple studies is that
> these thin models make women feel bad, but they like it," Mr. Kees said.
> "They have higher evaluation of the brands. With the more regular-size
> models, they don't feel bad. Their body image doesn't change. But in terms
> of evaluations of the brands, those are actually lower."
>
> Mr. Kees acknowledged the findings create something of a quandary for
> marketers, who might have a positive effect on young women's self-esteem by
> showing more typical women in ads, but suffer in the marketplace as a
> result.
>
> "I'd tend to be cautious about using models in advertising that wouldn't
> maximize the attitudes and evaluations of the advertising and the brands,"
> he said. "Certainly [Dove is] getting a lot of publicity, and it's a great,
> innovative campaign. But in terms of the bottom line of how that might be
> impacting ... purchase behavior, I'm not sure."
>
> Appetite suppressant
> Mr. Kees said the professors landed on the Oreo tactic, in which study
> participants didn't know their post-ad-exposure cookie-eating would be
> monitored, as a way of studying real behavioral impact in addition to the
> usual survey responses regarding ads.
>
> The Dove Self-Esteem Fund, backed by its Campaign for Real Beauty, has
> exceeded its original goal of reaching 1 million young girls by this year
> and expanded its target to 5 million by 2010.
>
>
> The data shows a definite, if short-term, link between thin models in ads
> and eating behavior, but Mr. Kees said he wasn't comfortable making the leap
> that seeing thin models could cause eating disorders.
>
> Dove and its agency, Ogilvy & Mather, Toronto, weren't reluctant to connect
> those dots in their "Onslaught" viral video released last year, splicing
> scenes of yo-yo dieting and bulimia into a montage of beauty advertising.
>
> "That's a far stretch to infer an eating disorder from a one-time choice,"
> Mr. Kees said, but added, "That's certainly a scenario that would be rich
> for future research."
>
> The new study in part concurs with and in part diverges from some prior
> research on the impact of thin models. Research reported in 2005 and 2006
> from psychology professors at University of Sussex and University of West
> England in the U.K. concluded that ads featuring ultra-thin models do make
> women feel worse about their looks, but aren't any better at selling
> products than ads featuring more typically proportioned women.
>
> The Lower Chamber of France's Parliament earlier this year passed a law that
> would ban the use of ultra-thin models in ads, and authorities in Spain last
> year banned ultra-thin models from runways. Unilever also vowed to not use
> size-zero models in any of its advertising.
>
> Unilever stays the course
> In a statement, a spokesman for Unilever said the company believes its
> approach works. "Unilever is confident in the effectiveness of its
> advertising," he said. "We believe women have the right to feel comfortable
> with their bodies and not suffer from lack of self-esteem brought on by
> images of excessive slimness."
>
> Dove's campaign, he said, has "penetrated society and started a dialog about
> real beauty," adding that "we are thrilled by the overwhelming positive
> responses we have received from women (and men) as a result of the
> campaign."
>
> The Dove Self-Esteem Fund, backed by the campaign, has exceeded its original
> goal of reaching 1 million young girls by this year and expanded its target
> to 5 million by 2010. Campaignforrealbeauty.com, he said, already has
> reached 4.5 million people.
>
> Despite those efforts, he said, "There is no question that women and young
> girls are being bombarded with unrealistic messages and images of beauty
> that impact their self-esteem." But, he said, "We are excited to see now
> (and have seen in the past couple of years) a growing trend towards more
> realistic and healthy looking women in advertising and in the media."

here's what we suggested to AVON in terms of their positioning:

Is this EVIL?

2009-02-23T05:58:00.000-08:00

every six months or so, my well-educated, visionary brother (ash meer, who also works in advertising) and i have this argument about the evils of marketing.

he says we are making people obese, debt-ridden, greedy and malcontent.

i say we're giving people hope and optimism. even if just for a second.

then i have lunch with my marketing guru friend, kim vernon - just to play devil's advocate, i take my brother's point that we are leading people astray - and she says, "people aren't so stupid that they believe us. and if they are, that can't be our fault."

that's why i was so thrilled to see seth godin's blogpost this morning:

is marketing evil?
feedproxy.google.com/~r/typepad/sethsmainblog/~3/XeXsaad-EB0/is-marketing-evil.html>

not an NRA supporter myself - but i do agree with the thought - it's not guns, it's the people holding them.

i started take-out media, my advertising agency, as an idea:

advertising is a powerful voice that can be used for GOOD.

we can deliver respect, beauty and love with a greater reach than art and literature (because we've got funding and we keep it simple).

i believe great marketing can save the world.

we started with the project:

www.100percenthuman.org

my goal is to add some "big-picture" thinking to every project i work on, whether it's a new fragrance or fashion line, lipstick, skincare or a homeless organization or a diabetes foundation.

how does everything you consume make you feel more part of the whole? the community of human beings? the community of life on the planet?

how can you feel better about yourself as well as others? how can you give something back even in some small way?

as a muslim, it's easy for me to see how the power of the pulpit can be misappropriated and cause terrible suffering.

as a sufi, i can see how wide open the spirit is and how the magic of advertising can make flowers grow in very unlikely places.

today, i am going to work with veronique choa on her acai seed bracelets whose profits have already begun to re-forest parts of the amazon that were almost barren.

they are beautiful, cheap, magical and they are for sale at

www.rainforestnative.com

BUY A LOT OF BRACELETS so they can keep up with kleenex.

Ecobracelets and the opposite of Fear

2009-02-20T07:48:00.000-08:00

monday, i plan to work with veronique choa on getting her eco-bracelets out & recognized in the world in the nick of time for earth day. a big pr blast.

but i am wondering, in this moment of money meltdown, how to get people to pay attention.

fear is such a terrible thing. makes you grip your chair. your tiny pot of money. hold your breath.
it's like crunching up your shoulders when you walk in the rain, you don't get less wet. but you do get a cramped neck.

the counterintuitive answer is to loosen your grip. give more. talk more. breathe more.

turn into the direction of the skid.

the more you open up, the more the world opens up.

derma wand

2009-02-19T07:22:00.001-08:00

so far, i am totally in love with this thing.

here i am totally broke with a bunch of sick kids. and i am obsessing about a small electrical device that sends pulsing energy to my face.

here's what it seems to do

de-puff my eyes
reduce and sometime erase the lines from my nose to my mouth (nasolabial folds)
reduce my jowls
smooth my forehead

and makes my cheeks rosy.

mary schook of the famed face machine does it better, with much more dramatic results, but this seems to offer instant (at home) gratification way more effective than strivectin, freeze 24-7 or almost any other grease you can put on your face.

i am finding it somewhat confusing as there are a number of sites selling them, some saying they work at 114,000 cycles per second, some at 168,000 and i am not sure which is which. also, all the packages more or less look the same, but some are derma wand, some are dermawand, and some are 2LOOKYOUNG dermawand...

available on ebay. and also www.dermawand.com. for about $75-145.00

psycho, founder's syndrome and letting go

2009-02-18T19:19:00.000-08:00

working with a couple of arts organizations - in an ad hoc way - looking at their branding and trying to help them create a more compelling presence and more effective communication.

in this economy, it’s obviously crucial to find ways to drum up money to stay alive - whether it's from ad revenue or audience size.

what’s really interesting (and frustrating) is how much harder it is to inspire change in a loosey-goosey art magazine or dance company or gallery.

a focus group participant sneered, “the problem is founder’s syndrome! they think they got the formula down right from the start and now they’re choking out their audiences.”

when i first came to nyc, one of my first jobs was as a copyeditor and eventually, managing editor of BOMB magazine - then 6 or 7 years old - run out of betsy sussler (the founder and publisher)’s loft.

it was a seething hotbed of artistic inquiry and experimentation. back in the prehistoric times, we used hot wax to glue typeset words and images to boards which then went to the printer to be copied turned into pages. artists manipulated the boards themselves. in our pages, emerging writers, performance artists, architects, filmmakers questioned authority. it was exactly what people want right now.

today, BOMB has real offices in brooklyn, it’s printed on heavy art-gallery-worthy paperstock, with neat, orderly pages. the vanguard is now the old guard. betsy sussler is a legend. she and BOMB magazine are synonymous.

the Battery Dance Company started 34 years ago in tribeca back when it was a land of outlaw artists. jonathan hollander, the founder and choreographer, started the downtown dance festival, helped found the indian-american arts council and was known for his cross-cultural, multiracial exchanges and collaborations. it's breathing and unexpected and exactly what people want to see. but they don't. not enough.

today, Battery Dance Company is fighting to stay visible in the cultural landscape of tribeca (all right, most of the landscape is real estate and restaurants now).

last tuesday, i had breakfast with a bright young swiss woman who oversees the marketing and communication for a swiss fashion brand called AKRIS. AKRIS is the swiss banker of fashion. quietly luxurious. understated, clean and precise. exactly what people who bring home their hermes stuff in plain brown paperbags need. discreet indulgence.

but AKRIS has been owned and run by the same swiss family forever. and almost everyone who works there, from the accountant to the graphic designer is related somehow.

so she’s facing similar digging-in-the-heels because they’ve been successful and always had buyers. (but now those buyers are getting old). and young buyers have never even heard of them.

and the problem is the same – none of the three had to ask the hard cut-to-the-chase, why-is-this-relevant? why-are-we-here? questions that most business people are forced to answer.

so how do you stay alive in your mindshare?

these brands were their founders’ babies.

now they are kicking and screaming teenagers. they’ve got a lot of icons to smash.

in order to stay exciting and compelling and perpetually fresh to new audiences, they will have to question and justify and announce their existence over and over again. in new ways.

if the founders hold on to them, stick to the tried-and-true, keep them safe, it’ll turn into Psycho.

they’ll kill their parents. and extinguish themselves.

teenagers have to take all (or most of)same the insane risks and explosive actions, they have to keep questioning authority and paying attention to what’s current.

all three of the brands have exactly WHAT PEOPLE WANT NOW.

they just need to let them go - set them free.
that's the chance. and the joy.

please, i have human teenagers myself. i know.

work like hell

2009-02-04T09:27:00.000-08:00

i've always loved ted turner's quote - when asked for his secret to success - he said:

"early to bed,

early to rise,

work like hell,

and advertise..."

it's amazing to me that ad budgets are being cut all over the place when it's been proven, again & again, that companies that continue to advertise during downturns are the ones that stay afloat - and shoot to the top when the recovery begins.

so i'm pleased to see loreal swimming against the tide.

plus people are short of money these days so they'll go back to coloring their hair at home. and that's what made loreal to begin with.

now, if they manage to sort out the not liking women issue...

loreal & love

2009-01-29T09:41:00.000-08:00

i had a brief (all of 8-weeks) stint with mccann erickson working on loreal - loreal the mass market cosmetic/hair color brand, not one of their other brands - and reading the current news about them, it seems obvious that their problem is the same one i thought i was hired to address.

i met with a woman called carol hamilton who lives and breathes the loreal brand.

and i told her the problem i saw (and who am i?) was that the brand was too cold. it was shiny, glam and slick looking but it didn't seem to love women.

or even really like them.

i thought that the on-a-pedestal idealized glossy view of a woman was great for haircolor. but it wasn't for skincare. because there you wanted love. you wanted intimacy, closeness, you wanted to believe it cared about you before you put it on your face.

if the brand cared about you, it had to act like it.

like moving towards recycled or recyclable packaging, like being more transparent about the ingredients, like speaking to you in a way that was simple, comprehensible and said it believed you could have a more beautiful future.

and she said, "yes, you're right. i'd love to talk more about it."

my boss - or colleague - at mccann, the jagged and wired executive senior vp super-important account guy who hired me, agreed. for about 5 minutes.

in reality, no one was the least bit interested in what i thought. or in anything green. or in questioning the overall meaning and message of the brand.

no time for big picture thinking - internal politics and strategy sapped everyone's energy.

in action, loreal had no love.

i adore kevin roberts and his lovemarks theory.

absolutely brilliant.

there are brands that inspire devotion by using stories, emotion and magic.

and loreal once had that.

sometimes it still does.

but i think there is one missing piece. you love brands that love you back.

the funny thing is that as this economy gets worse, that core truth becomes more apparent. if you've only got one dollar in your pocket - who gets it? whoever actually likes you and cares about you even when your dollar is in their wallet.

so there are tons of brands that are lotharios and will tell you all kinds of pretty stories just to get into your pants' pockets. and if they are gorgeous enough, you will go along for the ride.

but only if you've got time and money to spare.

like teenage girls becoming women, we are starting to realize our power and value as consumers.

back again to loreal, when i started working for them, i did my research. loreal was started by a chemist called eugene schueller - by most accounts, he was a fascist supporter and an all round nasty guy. (read bitter scent by michael bar-zohar, amongst others). eugene made hair-dye that didn't harm your hair and reportedly turned in people to the nazis.

since i believe the birth of a business infuses its soul, i was horrified.

a cute, young jewish copywriter working there, said, "but we're good people, right?"

at least, he seemed to love hair.

not a lot of love to start.

then i started working on the antiageing platform.

and another bright young woman said, "oh it's so digusting this ad, trying to insinuate that a 60 year-old woman has sex! at that age, she shouldn't be thinking about men and sex."

i also noticed that there were no women over 50 around. (except for carol hamilton. if she is over 50. ) they talked about older models dismissively, "she has wrinkles ON her wrinkles."

i tried to say something about old being beautiful and was immediately shut up for even mentioning the "o-word"

no love lost for the ageing set.

we were presented with an intelligent approach to skincare. by the WRONG person. politically, that is. it was shot down. and everyone seemed to be doing everything in their power to make it go away.

no love for each other.

i asked about getting rid of external packaging. and using recycled and recyclable bottles. i was politely told, "no."

no love for the planet. or our future.

i'd been moved by the story of the incredibly empowering line, "because i'm worth it," written by a recently-divorced young woman standing up for herself. almost like the secretary become copywriter in madmen, she reinvents herself.

self-love

but in today's world, the meaning goes from inspiring to self-centered and egotistical.

and "because we're worth it" is just not believable.

even if the "we" refers to the brand.

the question is - can we bring back the LOVE?

because without it, we're more unnecessary plastic on the shelf.

and if we can't LOVE the consumer, our products and our future - do we deserve to exist?

the meaning of life

2009-01-28T12:51:00.000-08:00

or at least the meaning of your own life.

i met a very nice guy called mike rogers who runs an ad agency called ml rogers.

i guess i was there to be interviewed. and i pathetically didn't even really bring a portfolio because i am so used to being hired by word of mouth. which i said, which must have sounded incredibly arrogant.

i also stupidly said, i always win pitches. all but 3. in my lifetime of advertising.

which again, i didn't mean as arrogant, i just was stating a fact. but it must have come across as pretty full of myself.

but what blew me away was, when i asked him, why did you start an agency?

and he looked totally confused and said, what do you mean, why? to have a job, of course.

so i said, well, you had a job.

and he said, yes but it's nice to be boss.

and i said, well what's the point of the agency?

and he said, to make good advertising.

i was starting to sound bitchy so i thought i'd better stop belaboring it. and i packed up to go. but then i said, what is your agency's strength?

and he said, really smart strategy. we're not just funny to be funny. we really think about the brand and what it means and we go really deep. and then we make great ads.

which made me think the point was an agency run by strategic planners. an interesting idea because they are always the smartest, best-read people in an agency. but...

i am not sure that that would get me out of bed in the morning.

and i am not sure that in this day and age, anyone has the luxury of starting a venture without a purpose.

i mean, good for mike, that was his time. and he seems to be doing well.

but today, if you didn't have a totally brilliant reason to exist - why would you start an agency? or anything else? there are tons of advertising agencies. and tons of restaurants. and shops. and clothing designers. there are more shoe stores and shoe brands than we can possibly imagine.

basically, the world - esp the first world - is overrun by crap. advertising being one of the things. so why make more?

this may sound self-righteous and it's not meant to. it is a totally personal opinion. but why do anything if it doesn't add a layer of meaning to your life? or strengthen your beliefs somehow.

slavery

2009-01-28T06:20:00.000-08:00

i like to play off that i am so low-maintenance and don't care about all this beauty stuff. and now i am rushing out to buy beauty treatments like a madwoman. even though i am broker than broke.

yesterday i had a nasty shock that almost drove me to plastic surgery.

my beauty guru mary schook has this incredible camera that photographs your face and penetrates several layers beneath the skin to show you the sun damage and the ageing.

i've got ugly sun damage on my cheeks and forehead and dappling my nose. but not that bad. it turns out i am a 3. which means that, in terms of sun damage, my skin is 3 times older than it would have been if i had stayed out of the sun.

i thank my mum for this. i have olive green skin that doesn't burn. my mum looks quite young. but also my mum hates the beach. she hates hot weather. she likes shady places, she likes walks through the mountains.

she cannot stand wearing a bathing suit and lying beside the sea.

so from my childhood, i can count our beach holidays on one hand.

in fact, on 2 fingers. this isn't to say we never went to the beach, but it was generally an afternoon trip, a swim and a picnic.

anyway, we did not sunbathe.

so that gives me a 3.

the unlucky part? the age of the skin around my mouth and chin is 57!

my forehead is 38. my cheeks are 41. my actual years on this planet are 45.

more bizarrely, there is no blood flow to my mouth. the skin around my mouth and chin is totally white and devoid of blood vessels.

AUGH. it's only going to get WORSE.

mary schook suggests the derma wand. a mild electrical current that stimulates the oxygen. $134.00 online. www.dermawand.com. i've got to do it everyday to wake up the bottom of my face.

also, the muscles in my cheeks are atrophied. i need facial exercises. she recommends flex effect. ok. $89.99 at www.flexeffect.com.

now for my eyelashes. yup. as you get older, they fall out. i was using a product called revitalash but the f.d.a changed the formula. now it's not working as well. product 3 www.neulash.com. $150.00 plus tax, shipping & handling.

yup. that's right. i am a slave now. hardcore.

no botox, fillers or plastic surgery. but don't let my subversive version of it fool you. i am chasing the anti-ageing mob as hard as the rest of them.

2009-01-20T17:48:00.001-08:00

for all those people who say the beauty/fashion mores give young girls bad body image, look at bratz! http://bit.ly/177wL

2009-01-20T07:11:00.001-08:00

Michelle Obama is wearing sunflower yellow Isabel Toledo to the inauguration! YES! AM so happy for Isabel!

2009-01-16T16:32:00.001-08:00

whatever does one wear 2 look chic & stay warm? in cozy lint-covered polar fleece again. Y do i only see cute guys when i look like a marshmellow?

2009-01-16T07:07:00.001-08:00

still wearing pjs under my polarfleece. rara wants to go to school now. back in2the cold.

2009-01-15T18:49:00.001-08:00

kids harrassed me 4 wearing lehnga 2 opening. but also wore lipstick red boots. i like to look different& overdressed.

2009-01-15T06:11:00.001-08:00

working the used toy sale at UNIS. dug out a slouchy alaia sweater & skinny skirt from '88. shaggy boots but feeling pretty supermom.

2009-01-15T05:25:00.001-08:00

am (generally) dressed 2 advantage but fall apart in the cold. buried head2toe in polarfleece w/lint sticking to it & puffer & big boots.

2009-01-13T09:12:00.001-08:00

but "another way to die" is brilliant. the bizarre juxtaposition of jack white & alicia keys is deliciously compelling.

2009-01-13T08:22:00.001-08:00

listening to "the diary of alicia keyes." disappointing. she has incredible potential to unearth powerful emotions w/her voice.

2009-01-12T19:13:00.001-08:00

growing respect for the superficial world of fashion & beauty. bc politicians academics & intellectuals complicate issues. it's simple-act human.

2009-01-12T11:29:00.001-08:00

product recco: joico agedefy haircare. shiseido collaboration. re:nu serum:hair looks 70s faye dunaway sexy & shiny. http://bit.ly/ZSYz

2009-01-07T08:16:00.001-08:00

ceasefire ends. killing begins again. http://is.gd/eMt3 and the congo. and somalia. where is LOVE?

2009-01-05T07:10:00.001-08:00

home: dishes. beds. bills. re: mahathir mohd's letter to obama. why haven't we signed kyoto treaty?

2009-01-04T12:45:00.001-08:00

time for US to stand for peace. obama's given us back our hope. check out http://ping.fm/fML7Q or @gazamom

2008-12-29T18:25:00.001-08:00

now downloading helen hadsell documentary. 83 yr-old woman who won almost every contest she entered.

2008-12-29T05:34:00.001-08:00

up & ready 2 look 4 a car again.

2008-12-28T20:54:00.001-08:00

still awake. my kids are skiing in ca & haven't called or sent me pix.

2008-12-28T20:29:00.001-08:00

got 2 sleep. still wondering about the conscience of advertising.

2008-12-28T10:36:00.001-08:00

look at cars, then home. what does the universe have in store? off the electric umbilical cord til 2night.

2008-12-28T09:21:00.001-08:00

minor family scuffles & dramas. almost over. reading emails re: gaza makes me cry. HUMANS, there is NO TIME for fighting.

2008-12-27T08:17:00.001-08:00

scary precipice. israel "pounding gaza" (yahoo). pakistan & india sounding the drums. can we manifest love?

2008-12-27T08:15:00.001-08:00

mum having dinner party 2 introduce me 2 "interesting people." she is a social virtuoso so this is her most precious gift. costco 4 supplies.

2008-12-24T19:48:00.001-08:00

wishing humanity the love and compassion of jesus and the miracle of light and abundance that is hannukah.

2008-12-24T18:02:00.001-08:00

wishing everyone an enlightening christmas!

2008-12-23T06:06:00.001-08:00

$3K to fix all the electrical problems on my 10 yr old car. $28K to buy a new one. green solution?

2008-12-17T19:28:00.001-08:00

ooh. just started on ping. my life may change. tomorrow. good night.

crisis = opportunity

2008-12-15T13:01:00.000-08:00

time to take a chance. i feel inspired, energized, buzzing with excitement. the old guard is coming down. the world as we know it is transforming.

especially for my work - the cosmetics industry was stuck in the money-making process. no risks. no real innovation. no real making beauty. no love. no art. all commerce.

and for muslims - time for a reformation, a revolution! time to take back the important stuff and throw all the rituals and rules into a cheerful little basket.

YES!

on to the arabs

2007-11-12T10:57:00.000-08:00

or our love-hate relationship with beauty.

so i got an email from an american friend who is studying arabic. and he opened the email with "salaam wa aleikum wa rahmatullah..." which means peace be upon you by the mercy of god.

and he peppered it with other long, ornate and respectful phrases from his arabic lessons. and then he said, oh you muslims like pomp and circumstance.

i emailed back, yes, we do. old cultures like ornament and decoration. just watching marie antoinette and all the intricate details of the french court and the way that love of decorum has trickled down to modern french society.

and that america is such a new culture - one that was built on rejection of the aristocracy and an outlaw foundation - so that we believe in stripping away anything unnecessary. we like it plain and simple.

my mum is always complaining that the world today has become totally pedestrian. she says that all of a sudden her own family members are behaving like the chauffeur's family. everyone wants to be street. she wants to know why everyone wants everything to be exposed and ugly?

and i was explaining that the dominant culture today is the american one. we are the richest, most influential country and culture in the world.

and america is all about honesty. (even if it's just in theory).

so, when you watch american movies, even old ones like "high society" with grace kelly, or newer ones like "titanic" or even kids' movies like "lizzie mcguire," the good guy, the one who gets the girl, is the clean, plainspoken one with the heart of gold.

the guy (or girl) who is a little too sophisticated or cosmopolitan is generally slimy.

look at good old gwb - in this culture, intellect and ornament are suspect.

and, as my mum even says, i like people to give it to me straight. she likes to say, she may not be overly educated, but she's got "street smarts."

follow the trajectory to its logical end, and what is most celebrated is the most ordinary. the quotidienne. thus, street clothes become the inspiration for party dresses. mugs replace silver tea services. someone in a decorating magazine stripped her new townhouse down to its "good bones" so she could live in elegant decay...

in terms of beauty, it means less and less makeup and more and more plastic surgery so that we can truly be "natural" and beautiful...

and of course, we come to the dove "onslaught" conversation.

or, what is wrong with the media that they give us such a nasty portrayal of women and can't just show them as they really are?

back again to the french court. or the arab one. women and men practiced the arts of seduction and beautification using carmine, perfumes and kohl, or rich, complicated pieces of clothing.

everyone worked to show themselves to their best advantages.

as oscar wilde said, "it is only superficial people who think that appearances are unimportant..." as well as decorating your home, decorating yourself was a way of showing respect to others.

then came the puritans. remember the scarlet letter? it was the plain, simple woman and the plain, simple man who built america. the woman who dared experience sensuality was damned from the start.

beauty products went underground. it was in your grandmother's recipe book that you found out how to keep your breath fresh and your upper lip hair-free. men were too busy breaking new ground to have time for frippery and foppery. they might have shaved and splashed their stinging faces with tonic but that was it.

a good woman was one who practiced the domestic arts and stayed away from "artificiality." a "painted woman" was trouble.

despite that, the sales of beauty products were brisk, especially to married women. while the popular belief about makeup was that it was a form of deceit, everyday women still used it secretly to enhance their looks and save their marriages.

most beauty enhancers were subversive. they were sold discreetly or prepared at home with ingredients from the pharmacy and your kitchen. you shared your rituals with your mother, your sisters, your girlfriends.

but, of course, we all know what good business they are. so it wasn't long before beauty products were sold in stores - though most of them, like charles revson's revlon and the california perfume company's avon - started out being sold discreetly and genteely door-to-door.

at first., beauty products began as empowerment - at a time where your face was your fortune and your husband's status was yours - the right products gave you what nature might not have, they gave you control over the impression you made on others.

however, eventually, beauty products took on a utilitarian form. you HAD to wear foundation, concealer, mascara, blush, lipstick, etc. just to hold down a job.

(and the people who sell it had to look beautiful as well, otherwise why would you buy it? more about that later)

obviously, the next step is the backlash. throwing off the oppression of all that artifice.

following the american movement away from ornament. returning to the plain and simple and unadorned.

but here's the sad thing: i watched focus groups of middle-income american women look at pictures of angelina jolie and rosario dawson stripped down to their pores and asked them if that was "true beauty."

some of the women looked crushed, "of course, SHE looks like that when she first wakes up - but what about the rest of us?"
"what about ordinary women? maybe movie stars don't have to try, but the rest of us do."

by throwing off the yoke of make-up, we are reduced to enjoying the gains or losses of our genetic lottery. (or we all get plastic surgery so we can look like "we were born with it" and what happens if you can't afford plastic surgery?)

and as human beings, we are always striving to grow and become something more. i don't wear make-up, but i can empathize with the wish. the desire to be better.

if there is truly a thing called beauty - based on symmetry and a universal appeal to the human eye - then what happens if when you are celebrating the natural and stripped-down, it isn't appealing or beautiful?

or as andie mcdowell cleverly said in an old l'oreal ad, "any old barn looks better with a new coat of paint!"

when i was at college at u.c. santa cruz, girls who wore make-up or ironed their clothes were a laughing stock. all of us WOMEN were too intelligent and comfortable with our own bodies to use deodorant or shave our legs. the oppression went the other way. if you WANTED to primp and lipstick and high heels, you were clearly a bimbo.

again, a judgement.

as we move away from adornment and decoration, how do we decide which side is empowerment?

you're either a red lipstick person or you're not...

2007-11-12T09:16:00.000-08:00

that was the first headline i ever wrote for a beauty ad, it was the first ad for a makeup artist called bobbi brown who was launching her line. and what i really liked about it was that it made space for both kinds of people.

so you could be that person with the gleaming candy apple red lips who got all the attention at the party.

or you could be so much more intellectual than that person with lipstick on her teeth and never wear lipstick except cherry chapstick in the winter.

and since i've always loved the idea of lipstick but i've never really been able to wear it since i used to feel like a little kid trying to dress up like her mum and now because it makes me just feel old, i liked the idea that you could choose.

i also spent ages talking to bobbie and figuring out what her makeup line was all about. and, in her case, it was all about making you look pretty. making you look pretty without looking "painted."

which i thought was a brilliant premise, especially since it was the very beginning of the 90s and we were all coming off of those intense 80s "Addicted to Love" red lips and black lined eyes and heavy eyebrows that made us look like drawings...

(which of course was a reaction to the total lack of makeup from the 70s - we are really ping-ponging through history)

and so, since i was then a single, struggling mum with a first novel, a young kid and long work hours and a very tiny and depressing apartment filled with cockroaches i respected the no-lipstick-no fakery ideal, partly since i had no time for it. i was working at a fashion house (calvin klein) and imagining myself an intellectual (so ABOVE these silly "i LIVE for kate moss" type people)

and, of course, my early fashion training came from my immersion in calvin klein, which was all about puritannical simplicity (juxtaposed against totally exposed but clean sexuality) - i totally responded to the anti-red-lipstick brigade.

and making space for people who didn't wear loud lipstick seemed really empowering.

FREE YOURSELF FROM THE TYRANNY OF LIPSTICK!

be naturally beautiful!

so here's the question - is makeup empowerment or tyranny?

are you too smart to wear lipstick? or too dumb to wear it?

because there have been times in my life where i felt like all the glamour and excitement of the world was contained in the intoxicating scent and glistening case of my blue-red chanel lipstick that my dad bought for me at the airport duty-free in paris when i was 17.

even just carrying it in my bag was magic.

i remember going out at night, when i first moved to new york city in my early twenties, with just a lipstick. and i would give my lipstick to my male escort to hold for the evening.

(another question - why do women's clothes have no pockets?)

if i been forbidden to wear lipstick, or forbidden to go out and carouse, like a lot of young indian muslim women (i am one, just not young anymore) - wouldn't that have been the tyranny?

and - i should add to this rambling post because someone asked me - when i talk about lipstick, i really mean the WHOLE kit-and-kaboodle, i mean the tyranny of primer, foundation, concealer, eyeliner, lipliner, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick, lipgloss, lipglass...

if you give up these "artificial methods of beautification" as they would have said in the victorian times, are you free or forsaken?

more recently, i worked on loreal's advertising.

and loreal really positions itself as glamorizing women. it is lipstick or hairdye that makes you larger than life. you are big, bold, beautiful and ready to rule the world.

carol hamilton who is the north american president of loreal is one of those powerful women- tiny, pretty, dainty and so much more than the sum of her parts. and i read this quote from her in the new yorker (it was an article about the semiotics of haircolor by malcolm gladwell) where she said that she could always tell a loreal woman from a clairol woman because the loreal woman was "more put together."

soignee, or, as they say in italy, someone who cares about "la bella figura."

in the loreal world, a woman who doesn't bother with the trappings of beauty is either a child or a forgotten, wilted wallflower in the dance of life.

and of course, while working on loreal, the conversation turned to dove.

amongst team loreal, the dove point of view is completely ridiculous and pathetic.

be happy being gray-haired and unkempt? fat, freckled and naked?

in a meeting, talking about competitive advertising, someone said, oh those dove ads, they are so ugly! and those awful pictures! i could have taken them myself!

this seemed to belie the fact that i had been emailed the link to the "evolution" spot about a hundred times from friends from all beauty persuasions. though, apparently, women do not want to BUY the dove products. you might believe in dove but not want to be part of team dove.

interesting.

so what do we want? products that raise us to an ideal (that perhaps we never achieve). or products that celebrate being happy just the way we are?

and just what do camille paglia and naomi wolf think about all this?